The mouth is such a small yet powerful thing. Communication connects us and can build up or tear down. But how do we tame the tongue and take control of our words? What fruit do we want our tongue to bear?
There are many verses on the tongue in the Bible and they are very revealing. Here is one that has clear instruction:
Psalm 34:13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.
This seems pretty obvious; don’t tell lies. But looking closely at the verse we learn the tongue has the power of evil. That is pretty strong language. Here’s the definition of evil:
evil
[ˈēvəl]
ADJECTIVE
- profoundly immoral and malevolent.
- “his evil deeds” · [more]
- synonyms:
- wicked · bad · wrong · morally wrong · wrongful · immoral · sinful · ungodly · [more]
NOUN
- profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity, especially when regarded as a supernatural force.
- “the world is stalked by relentless evil” · [more]
- synonyms:
- wickedness · bad · badness · wrong · wrongdoing · sin · sinfulness · [more]
This seems to suggest our words are easily and often leveraged by the enemy, whose plan is to steal, kill and destroy.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Oh, dear! This sets up two very distinct paradigms that our words can fall into; death or life; Satan or God.
It feels like our words, even if we are only expressing thoughts or feelings are benign and float away into the air with no effect. But scripture suggests the power of words.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
What fruit does your tongue create?
As humans, we are prone to evil flowing from our mouths. Consider these verses:
Not a word from their mouth can be trusted; their heart is filled with malice. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongues they tell lies.
Let’s unpack this and bring it home. We know we have the same problem with the tongue we read about above. What situations does it manifest itself? When are we prone to have a mouth full of lies, threats, trouble, flattering, boastfulness, and evil? Sound a little over-the-top for our daily mundane life?
What about gossip? Yep, I went there. How often do we engage in this wicked habit? This is one we moms are all guilty of at some time. Women are talkers and relationship-oriented, so this is bound to generate gossip.
If you have ever been the victim of gossip, you know how profoundly hurtful it can be. The betrayal of knowing that others would speak untrue and unkind things about you runs deep. Oftentimes these are people we’ve known through church or other groups. People we’ve shared our life with. People, we called friends.
What about the way we speak to our children, at home during homeschool, or any time? Let’s consider this verse:
Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Is your communication corrupt towards your children at times?
When we think about the definition of corrupt which is “made unreliable by errors or alterations”, we can see that if we are not speaking in truth with love to our children, our communication is in error or altered.
Anger and yelling definitely would be a form of communication that is corrupt.
I also think about children, who by definition are still learning communication skills and being formed by the events of their childhood, and how a chronic state of corrupt communication would not be, “ministering grace unto the hearers”.
I remember my dad, who was a very smart man and wonderful father, adapting the quote from Alexander Pope’s Epistles to Several Persons, published in 1732, saying, “As the twig is bent, so shall the tree grow”.
Luckily for all of us, an occasional corrupt word does not permanently bend the tree. But, it can make for hurt feelings and hurt relationships.
No one is perfect and we will all speak in a way towards our children at times that we regret. Regret is a good clue that your heart and tongue were not in alignment, and you can go and make it right.
So whether it’s gossip, harsh words to our kids, or another “untamed” communication, the outcome is always hurt and not grace for the hearer. Even if the only one who is hurt, is you.
Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
There’s the magic bullet my friends! It’s all about the heart!
I love this verse so much! It is so illuminating and gets to the “heart”, of the issue!
It is not about our mouth, or our head, or our bad day…but what is in our heart. This is where the communication starts. In the heart.
What is your heart full of? Hurts from the past? A critical nature? Anger and resentment? I can’t pretend that these will all just go away easily, but we do have a remedy.
Store up good in our heart! How? Be a good man (or woman)!
And because love can always grow and there’s always room for more, our hearts can be filled with more love every day. And slowly, some of those less desirable things lurking in the dark just don’t have room to stick around and they get pushed out!
If we need more love in our hearts to overflow out to others, then we need more God.
If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you know how to get more God: pray, study, ask, seek, knock, fellowship, worship, repent and turn from sin…
but do we prioritize these things that cleanse our heart? Do we commit to them, or forget their importance?
Some verses in scripture have a promise attached. Look at the promises when our heart is overflowing with love right out of our mouth:
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,
Proverbs 21:23 –
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
I think we can all agree a glad heart, resting secure, and our soul kept from troubles sounds pretty amazing!
Imagine your homeschool resting secure and being kept from trouble! Wow! What an amazing promise from God!
Is this always easy? No.
Does it take effort to grow in Christ and transform our hearts? Yes.
I’m here to encourage you that it is always worth it! Your children are worth it, your relationships are worth it, and you, my friend, are worth it!
God wants you to rest secure and have a soul free from trouble. The momentary satisfaction of an angry outburst or engaging in juicy gossip just isn’t worth it.
James 3:5 So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!
Do you want to deal with the destruction of a forest fire? No way! And it doesn’t take much for that to start!
So we must be diligent to have a heart overflowing with love that it may edify and administer grace to others through our words.
Do the work to grow your heart and watch what flows from your tongue! I pray this will manifest itself in your life starting today!
How have you tamed your tongue? Leave a comment below!