I don’t know about you, but I’m not observing much “conversation” happening anywhere anymore. Remember what that was? Two people, talking about a topic, sharing ideas, listening, giving feedback, politely challenging each other when appropriate.
Put aside we can’t see each other in person easily with the Covid restrictions our states keep rolling out, and gosh who uses a telephone anymore…and if you take 1/64 of a second to peek at social media you see conversation is a lost art. Lost to yelling, demeaning, name-calling, and being completely shut down. How do we make progress if we aren’t listening or learning from each other?
Let’s take a fresh new look at what the art of conversation means, and seek to instill this in our children so the next generation can reclaim this lost art and begin to pave the way for progress.
I’m a huge fan of acronyms. I don’t know why but I just really like them and use them whenever possible.
Me- “Hey, kids, time for LABS.”
Kids- “Labs? Do we have science labs? What in the world….?”
Me- “No no no…Language Arts & Bible Study!”
Well…I’m not that bad! But I do find they are helpful when teaching concepts and encapsulating an idea in a sweet little bundle.
Let’s consider this verse as we think about conversations with others.
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
This is a great biblical lens to look at conversation with!
We see two very important pieces of information. Our conversation is to be full of grace and seasoned with salt.
These two things balance each other well as we think about favor and goodwill toward others (grace) and pureness, truth, and preservation of the gospel (salt as a preservative) along with savory conversation that is interesting and not bland (salt as a seasoning).
So conversation that is gentle and kind yet bears the truth of the Gospel with a lively interesting dialogue! I love it!
The idea of conversation seasoned with salt is worthy of a whole Bible study on its own! What a great concept to dig into, but for this post, let’s bear in mind conversation that is full of grace and salt, as the Bible instructs.
Now we are set to look at CONVERSATION and see what we can come up with.
Whether it is a lovely exchange with your bestie or an all-out battle of the wits you weren’t even expecting, I bet you can find some great words to add to our CONVERSATION!
Let's see if we can put all these attributes in the "grace" or "salt" categories!
C- Calm
Staying calm helps us think clearly and this is very important if we want to engage in critical thinking. Not that emotions are absent, but we don’t lose control of our emotions and give way to anger and frustration that shuts down the dialogue.
[Grace]
O- Open-minded
This allows us to listen. We may not agree with the position of the person we are talking to, but we give them the courtesy of examining their position with an open mind so we can evaluate it.
[Grace]
N- Nice
There’s nothing wrong with being nice when you talk to another human being. This is what makes the whole experience enjoyable! Remembering to be nice helps curb the urge to let negative emotions or behaviors try and take over.
[Grace]
V- Virtuous
As Christians, we seek to be virtuous in our thoughts and actions and present positions that glorify God and his tenets. Sometimes sitting down to analyze God’s word is a good idea and make sure the conversations we have are lifting up the Truth.
[Salt]
E- Enthusiastic
Exchanging ideas with someone passionate about their ideas is engaging! This is evident when we sit through a lecture by a professor who has the exuberance of cooked liver. We are bored, tired, and don’t care about what we could learn.
[Salt]
R- Really listen
I stress this because it is of the utmost importance. You want the person you are talking with to feel heard and validated. It takes effort to listen, filter, read between the lines, and then follow up with thoughtful questions.
[Grace]
S- Slow-down
Sometimes we are so anxious to say what’s on our mind that we tune out what our friend is trying to explain. We begin assembling our comeback and the mind races to put it all together so when there is a pause in the conversation we can jump in with our amazing reply! Slow down and let the conversation develop its tempo. Don’t be in a hurry to make your point. You may lose the most important thing God wanted you to hear.
[Grace]
A- Ask questions
Clarifying the points, feelings, and ideas of someone else helps you both know you are talking about the same thing. Stay on this path and dig into what they have to offer. Unpack the nuances and see what you can learn. Again, you may not agree, and that’s OK.
[Grace]
T- Truthful
This is a must. There’s no point throwing around facts that can’t be substantiated or are just plain invented. The conversation becomes disingenuous, so what’s the point? Win with Truth and you will be miles ahead.
[Salt]
I- Information-based
Conversing with someone who is educated makes for a richer, deeper conversation. Get informed, learn and grow. It will always pay off to be educated and bring solid information to conversations.
[Salt]
O- OK to disagree
The point of a conversation isn’t for all involved to walk away with the same opinion. It is to share time with other humans and enjoy the experience. To be enriched in some way and leave the conversation challenged, encouraged, motivated, enlightened, or at peace (to name a few). It’s not your job to change someone else’s mind. Only they can do that. You don’t have that power.
[Grace]
N- Never leave angry
If you are struggling to use the tips above, or the conversation feels more like an attack, please set a boundary and consider walking away. Don’t leave angry, make peace, and politely excuse yourself. Emotions can run high depending on the topic of conversation, and sometimes it is a challenge to take the high road. Know your limits and stay classy by excusing yourself if needed. You’ve got permission, so there!
[Grace]
What's happening in our culture matters, and our kids' behaviors are shaped by it.
Let’s regroup here folks, and focus our attention on these important human interactions we have lost sight of…like conversations. It’s so basic and it’s so necessary.
I pray we can walk this crazy culture back a few steps and regain some composure and decency. We all have a voice and can influence culture by changing the script…and it starts at home with our kids!
I hope this acronym helps you remember to season your conversation with grace and salt!
What thoughts on conversation do you have? How have you experienced a lack of positive conversation in your own life?