You thought the day was going well…until the younger ones kicked up a fuss and ran off crying, and the older ones started fighting…or was it the older ones who kicked up a fuss and ran off crying and the younger ones started fighting?
When you have “that day” and emotions are running high and everyone is over it, what do you do? How do you recover? Here are some ideas that will help you:
A) figure out what happened
B) get through the rest of the homeschool day
C) Make tomorrow a win again
We are all emotional beings, and this can play a big role in families’ homeschooling days. Mom and kids alike are bound to have days where the battle is more about frustration, anger, unmet expectations, hurts, and struggles than it is about the Invasion of Normandy!
I have found my kids’ emotions manifest in tears more often than not. Your children may be more prone to outbursts of anger. However this manifests, it is a huge reason the day can go off the tracks, and that is tough!
A) figure out what happened
You probably already have an idea because, well, you’re a mom!
- Were the kids up too late last night?
- Are they overtired for another reason?
- Have they eaten properly?
- Is there a hurt they are trying to cope with?
- Is school really taxing for them?
- Is school too easy for them?
- Are they not feeling well?
- Do they have special needs?
This list can go on, but I want you to think about the factors that are affecting your child’s behavior. If your child can communicate feelings, gently talk with them and ask questions if needed.
Which factors can you change or impact?
Some issues are not easily solved (ex. parents are divorcing). These deep issues warrant help from professionals at times or a long-term plan.
We will cover things we can change or impact next, but all these tips can help no matter the issues you are facing.
If you have identified some reasons for the emotions that are wreaking havoc on your homeschool day, put a plan into place to prevent and minimize these factors.
Sometimes we have to sit down with our kids and have a heart-to-heart about what is happening. It isn’t always crystal clear.
You may need to read between the lines, but this is where mom’s intuition comes in handy!
And you may have to make your best guess and go with that for the time being.
Sometimes we know what to do but just get lazy.
We would rather let you kids stay up an extra hour than have the battle about bedtime.
We would rather spend the day riding the train to the next city over and visiting a museum even though we know that it will likely be overstimulating for our child.
We would rather not face the neighbor kid’s parents and have the tough conversation about the fighting when they play.
But we know these things are impacting our child and ultimately our homeschool day.
It’s time to parent up and make some good choices to support our kids, even if it makes parenting harder, in the moment.
This will pay off exponentially in the long run.
Many times these patterns are cues to a learning challenge.
For example, every day after reading, your son has a meltdown. Writing causes tears and bad behavior. If you suspect that learning challenges are causing emotional behavior, which is quite common, help is available.
We’ll cover this specific topic in another post, but reaching out to other moms will give you ideas of what is available in your area.
OK, you have a pretty good guess at what the triggers are, and you are going to problem-solve them to minimize this happening again.
Whether it is a simple fix of changing a bedtime or looking into professional help, you have a plan to move forward with prevention.
B) How to get through the rest of the homeschool day
Changing the flow of the day is OK! You may not get to check all the boxes today mom, but responding to the needs of your kids is still a win!
“But we’ll get behind…we are already behind! We can’t keep losing days this way!”
I hear you. But I have a question: who are you behind? The local school? The neighbors? Your friends’ kids? The national average (whatever that means)?
Your child is on their path, and that’s OK. They are where they need to be. If you are diligently moving forward, taking baby steps, and instilling a love of learning while adjusting to your child’s needs, they are not behind. They are right where they need to be!
Having a rough day that blows up in your face calls for a new plan. Resurrect the day by going in a direction that calms the storm and still has value:
- take a walk (outdoors is a terrific reset)
- play a game
- watch a video
- play cards or dice
- HAVE AN ART DAY!
- do a craft or project
- Read to the kids
- create holiday decor for the next big holiday
- play music
- DANCE TO MUSIC!
- build a fort
- make a robot with found objects/recyclables
- BAKE COOKIES!
- let the kids mix vinegar and baking soda
- play legos or blocks
- have a tea party
- let the girls give you a make-over
- let the girls give you a make-under (just joking)
- go on a scavenger hunt
- GO BUY ICE CREAM CONES!
- play dress-up
If all else fails…it’s OK to take the day off and just cuddle and regroup!
This list gives you an idea of changing it up with something fun…and yes, learning will still be happening. Learning is always happening!
Warning! Don’t ruin the fun by making it too “teachy”! They will be onto you and will push back if you start asking, “…and how many quarter cups are in one cup, Susie?” when you are baking those delicious chocolate chip cookies you promised would be “fun”!
Approach the changes with a positive attitude so the fun will be contagious.
C) Make tomorrow a win again
This part is really important. It’s the transition into your next homeschooling day and sets the stage for what happened, and what will happen next.
1. Gather somewhere comforting, (the couch?), and talk with your kiddos about what went wrong in the day. Don’t accuse or blame. Let everyone have a voice and validate everyone’s feelings.
2. Let the children know these things happen and even grown-ups can have a bad day, and that’s a life lesson we all get to learn. The most important thing is we get another chance every day for a do-over! Let’s move on!
3. Convey the message, “We are a team!”! Let them know you listen to them, and they must listen to you. As the captain of the team, your job is to make sure the team has a better day. Collect any feedback they have so they feel heard.
4. Outline any changes happening to assure better days ahead, (earlier bedtime, less time with the neighbor friend who causes fighting, more protein-packed breakfast, etc.). *
*The kids may kick up a fuss to changes they don’t like. Stay strong and make sure your changes are reasonable. Keep smiling and assure them better homeschool days are worth it, and you are the captain!
5. Go over the homeschool plan for the next day so everyone knows what to expect. You may need to adjust this for the next day as a gentle re-entry into the homeschooling atmosphere again. **
**Be on the lookout for manipulation of “bad days” so they can get out of school. You will smell this a mile away and don’t go for it. Manipulation earns correction.
We have unpacked what caused your terrible, awful, no good, very bad day and how to make the best of it. We also know how to recover and move forward so tomorrow is a win!
Will this be the end of it? Nope. There will be more of these days in your future. I promise. But having this pattern down gives you a blueprint of how to deal with it. Tweak these suggestions as needed, and you have a winning strategy!
What is your worst homeschool day ever? Leave me a comment below!